It is 2013, we recently repealed Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, 99% of Fortune 500 companies include sexual orientation in their nondiscrimination policy, and the President of the United States used the word "gay" on a world stage during his inauguration. However, if you are gay, and I suspect bisexual, queer, and/or transgender, you cannot be a member of the Boy Scouts of America (BSA), either as a youth participant or adult leader.

The Boy Scouts organization has come under fire over the past year, particularly in the last month.  Earlier this week it was made public that on their application for professional commission, their blatant discrimination is clear: "The Boy Scouts of America will not employ... known or avowed homosexuals." This discrimination impacts the entire organization, most importantly young boys. It sends a clear message to all of us: if you are gay, the Boy Scouts of America does not want you. The BSA is an organization that prides itself on leadership, claiming to build character, training boys and young men in responsibilities of participant citizenship.

However, its discriminatory policies seem to teach young people, boys and girls alike, that it's acceptable to exclude people based on sexual orientation. Think about the message these types of policies send to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) youth who already struggle to feel accepted and that they matter as a human being. We know that GLBT youth have higher rates of depression, suicide attempts, rejection, and abuse. GLBT youth are also more likely to report that they do not have an adult to talk with about personal problems.  

Two weeks ago, the National Executive Board of the BSA simply could not decide how to proceed in addressing these discriminatory policies. Their decision not to decide is in fact a decision... one of cowardice. More than 1.4 million signatures were delivered to BSA from Change.org petitions requesting that the ban on gays serving openly be repealed. Worldwide companies like Merck, UPS, and United Way have stopped funding to the Boy Scouts because of their discriminatory practices.

On February 6, 2013, the Boy Scouts of America organization released the following statement after their Board meeting concluded: "After careful consideration and extensive dialogue within the Scouting family, along with comments from those outside the organization, the volunteer officers of the Boy Scouts of America’s National Executive Board concluded that due to the complexity of this issue, the organization needs time for a more deliberate review of its membership policy." At their National Annual Meeting in May, they will allow their 1,400 voting members decide. This may have seemed like the right thing to do, but when has it turned out well for a discriminatory majority to vote on the rights of a marginalized minority?

Not long ago, a close personal friend called me one day and was clearly distressed. He wanted my opinion about his young son, who was in the scouts at the time, and what I thought if they pulled him out. My friend shared how much it bothered him that the Boy Scouts were not inclusive, and when they told the out lesbian mother last year to step down as a troop leader, it was the final blow for him. We talked about the conversation he was planning to have with his son, who is a brave young boy in his own right.  I knew the conversation he was going to have would be difficult.  

It is hard to imagine how you would start a conversation hoping your son would understand why you wanted him to walk away from something he enjoyed. But you see, my friend’s son had already learned about character, leadership, and what it means to be a citizen. His son clearly knew the importance of valuing all people and let his father know he was OK with no longer being a part of the Boy Scouts. They found another youth experience that has fulfilled his son’s needs and is welcoming of all individuals. My friend and his son took a stand that day for what they believed and for all of the boys who do not have a voice.

Imagine how it feels to be a young boy who is a scout and is gay, in the closet, with no one to talk to because the message is that we do not care and there is something wrong with you. The negative messages in the media, inappropriate comments from elected officials, and ignorant statements like "gays have no purpose in life" from a teacher all highlight how far we still have to go in the United States even in 2013. There are indeed youth organizations like the Girl Scouts, the Boys and Girls Club of America, and 4H Clubs, who have embraced inclusion and welcome all children. Sometimes it is hard to do the right thing. I applaud my friend and his son for their courage and bold statement of support for ALL people, including those who identify as a member of the GLBT community. For now - Boy Scouts of America - not for all.

Justine Hollingshead is the Director of NC State's GLBT Center. To find out more about GLBT Center programs, workshops, and services, please see glbt.ncsu.edu.